the boys are back. my heart is still in Australia~

... painfully beautiful film. The growth of freedom and sense of respect is just practically unbearable at the end of this story for me... Home starts within You. 

under the Australia's sun...

... in the vast spaces of deserts and no-shade wanderings within Yourself, suddenly an open hearted someone is found. Someone who understands and feels You, who knows how to be Your friend... and surprisingly enough- it's a dog... : ) I haven't seen such an uplifting and simple film about being a friend to the World, being free in spirit in a long time~ it just made me really happy that I am alive and that I have lived to see it. How strangely it may sound. : ) 

Our Idiot Brother

It's so hard to write after such a long time of silence... words are somehow stuck somewhere halfway through and thoughts are just racing... Yet something clear and vivid comes out of all this chaos and so today I want to write about Truth. All the shapes and sizes of it and how “harmful” it is to live by it : ) I have watched this great film recently, called “Our Idiot Brother”, and honestly I had no idea, that my first entry after a break would be about comedy, but it is, so deal with it : ) I watched it simply because I wanted something with an uplifting mood. Oh, I got it... as well as the reminder of the most important and most simple lesson in my life. 

Of course we all say, that we are good people and we speak the truth and live by it, all those tiny little lies don't mean a thing... BUT! There comes a time, when You're just sick of it and You don't want ANY untruthful word coming out o Your mouth... or anyone else's. With an open heart and pure honesty I admit, that I want to be friends with the main character of that film. The way he treats life with compassion, friendship and always- the truth is simply breathtaking. He manages to keep his childish innocence in a world that is filled with lies. Almost every product, service is a lie just to make us feel better, every relationship- with little secrets, every carrier with sacrifices... And why oh why, we- intelligent humans build our selves up with these walls? Life is and can be much more simple than that, and that simplicity is truly capable of making us happy. Not the money, not the jobs, not the things. Simplicity in every step we make. Every word said with love and compassion to one another, every action made with dignity and passion for good, every thought born out of curiosity what this life really is about, love grown not out of the need to be with someone, but from love it self- love to all living things. It is still not a very long time, I'm living without lies... it's not really easy at first... It's hard to admit things to Your self, that You're not proud of... it's hard to tell someone the truth, that might not be pleasant, it's quite difficult to start telling the truth to Your self and understand what You really want from Life. And sometimes it's really hard to admit, that what You really want from Life is the smallest thing people can imagine, and yet that's what You want and it means the world to You... Truth is a gentle, yet a little sad creature... it has everything, that a living thing can have inside- anger, love, hate, pain, memories, dreams... Sometimes it comes with a cup of tea and gently speaks with You until You cry Your heart out, and sometimes it even bites and leave You scars... But I chose no other creature to live with me. So, I recommend to watch “Our Idiot Brother”and live happy lives with pure honesty...

waiting

The first words in the song- and again I'm in tears... I'm a big whimperer when it comes to beauty. 

Arrietty

and yet again- rivers of tears... It's like a drug- the feeling of a child within. When I honestly capture the moment when I feel that- it's unbelievably good... Simple. And who are the masters of making that happen- no doubt the studio Ghibli... With a very few exceptions, all their works leave me with this hurtful feeling inside that I'm growing up... T_T 

Today I want to write about Arrietty... Since the first glance at this little borrower and a tender sound of the harp by Cecile Corbel it's done- me in tears, flashbacks from my childhood, that enormous wish to be 6 again... It's hard to believe how honest with Your self Ghibli's films make You feel... I so admire them for that. 

Arrietty's story is very touching, it speaks about closeness of the family, losing Your home, finding a friend...
The animation and all the details are simply gorgeous... Everything is thought through to the smallest detail in the screen, maybe that's why Arrietty's world  is so simple to believe in.

 

This film really captures the essence of childhood. That wish to take more responsibility than You can handle, the magical world You still live in, unquestionable belief in goodness, sorrow of being alone, the calmness of wind in the grass...

I honestly loved it. 

anime

Haibane Renmei
Wolf's Rain
Hikaru no Go
Honey and Clover

... there was a time when these titles meant pure and honest time for myself, deep experience of a well created atmosphere with great soundtracks, growing characters and a good story, also a theme to share with my friends or start a conversation with somebody...
Anyway, I don't want to be one of those people, who say: "OMG, You haven't seen this one???!! Are You crazy???!!!!", I could though : ) But I will surely say this: if You have some extra hours in Your daily life and You have absolutely no idea what to do with them, You might find one or two series of any of this anime and see what happens : ) I'm pretty sure, that they might surprise You...

So... more in detail:



Haibane Renmei



Beautiful style, very memorable music, exceptional story... I would very much recommend it to a person, who wants something calm and deep in meaning...  When I first time watched it, I just couldn't stop until it was finished. I started in the evening and heard the last ending song when the sun was rising... I couldn't talk for a few hours, I just didn't want to... Everything seemed so... different and imaginary after this. I think it's an experience I'll remember for a long time... Don't want to spoil the story, so You'll just have to trust me on this and try to watch it : )



Wolf's Rain



My favourite theme- a search for Paradise... And the idea of when it's all over, only the wolfs will know where to find it, also how the mankind shows it's face... Some are helping the wolfs, so that at least someone could reach it, some are hunting them down in hatred... The atmosphere of Wolf's Rain is full of longing for something meaningful, beautiful and out of this world... Music is simply great- Maaya Sakamoto and Steve Conte... I recommend Wolf's Rain to people, who still want to believe there's something more out there...



Hikaru no Go

I was surprised at first, but this is the only one of the 'more than 24 series' anime that I really love. The whole story is about a boy, who meats a spirit of Fujiwara no Sai, o champion Go player from Heian period. This spirit hunts the boy, until he agrees to play Go for him and so starts the great journey of finding talent... It's hard to imagine how the director did it, but through the whole story, You can feel the character grow and mature and learn, as if it was You. You even feel the trembling and nervousness before the games... It even made me learn to play Go... : ) Highly recommend this one to the ones, who like old-school anime with great sense of humour, some drama, fantasy and sports. 

Honey and Clover



Incredibly sweet, moving story about the students in art school. Their lives, their love, their searching for them selves, hoping for something great in life.... Almost every episode made me take a deeper breath... This one is light and simple, also- very inspiring...

So, here I go again with my nostalgia... : ) Hope, that at least one this anime will make some other person feel the things I did...

human dignity + compassion = peace

laughter and tears, sometimes at once... beautiful beautiful film...

Sunset Limited

I haven't got much comment about this one, only that it's one of the greatest films I've seen...

Creation

...and yet again it makes me think, how all the greatest things in life are created in a memory of loved ones, in the longing to be appreciated by the ones You care about, in the need to be heard...

Sunday's child

~ and you will be given name- Anne ~

Sunday-like Monday....

the Chairman

Haven't seen anything as refreshing as this in a long time... 

No guns, no explosions, yet the heart trembles with nervousness 

and my favourite question: "who runs the whole thing?"...

... Someday, we won't be writing plans any more. You will. 

Arthur

It's hard to believe at first, but- a very very intelligent... even wise film. Had a great time.

War Horse

..and I still believe in puppets... even more than in anything else.

the silhouettes

...and all my tears are not enough for all the beautiful things people are doing around the world... 

thunder, puppies and a cup of berries

sometimes the feeling of exploring is what is the most important.
And it's good to forget about all else...

like when I was little and everything seemed magical. 

Funny, maybe I'm getting younger, because everything seems that way to me again...

And I remember Monet once in a while... Used to love him.

Anyway. This little hero reminded me, that everything is possible. 

Incredibly strong little one- came back from the other world and it's just breathtaking to look at her big lively eyes...

And what a wonderful world does she see... 

the soul in me sees the soul in You~

and yet another day of writing letters... They all speak of the same things... 

darkness won't scare me now and I know where I'm going and why.

The knowing isn't an easy thing to carry... yet somehow

my feet are lighter... and I'm learning how to breathe...

Deep deep in my breathe I listen to what I really want to say 

and at some point I realise that I know, understand and feel everything, 

yet nothing stays in that moment and the journey starts again....

KKMAGVI

when a conversation with Your self reaches a silence point...

play with your inner child

Yesterday I've experienced something very cosy, fragile and it really made me think, that we honestly don't play enough... When the whole crowd was making sounds into music with Bobby it made me realise how all those grown ups enjoy that moment and it was just beautiful to watch and listen and participate in myself...

Here's something like we all have experienced in Bobby Mcferrin's concert in Kaunas jazz festival yesterday. Incredibly touching...

Have a beautiful Monday... ^_^

"how long have I searched for you"

...strange are the moments of longing... especially when you long for the days when you were little... Though not the events or the feeling of endless summer days, but the sense of you being young... with every particle. Sometimes I forget I still am, I guess... ^_^

Sometimes I have a feeling that I've been here for over fifty years or so. 

Even more strange is the longing for the things that are still to come, or the things that might have been if you decided something differently. Weird is the human mind...

Anyway, today I want to write about two films, that make me feel kind of old and at the same time are just simply very dear to me. 

Moscow Does Not Believe In Tears (1980)

Watched this one for a million times already, I think... It is a great great film about the understanding of happiness and love. And that there is always a time for that. You can imagine that when being young in your twenties you can build the whole world for your self, win everything in an instant and that would be it, but your life to the fullest comes to you when it comes. When you're ready. 

Office Romance (1977)

This film I know by rote... It's a wonderful, very lively comedy with great great actors, brilliant dialogues. Very warm film about closeness people get to know. This film has a beautiful beautiful soundtrack... gosh, I miss those days, when songs were written by the real poets...

I don't really want to spoil the story if someone hasn't seen it, so I'll just highly recommend it as a truly fulfilling experience and You'll have to trust me. ^_^

I grew up with these two films and lately I watch them at least once a week in a background while drawing or doing something else and I still can't get enough and learn something new from them. Somehow they manage to create the atmosphere I really love, filled with simplicity and honest human heart. 

50 years of back in the Stars...

... sometimes things are just too grand to write about with big words, so I'll just try to do this as simple as I can.
Ever since I realised what death really meant, it taught me many things. How to think, how to express my love and hatred, how to travel further more into space that is me. I now know that I have to be thankful for those lessons and hardships that I had and I'm letting go every little sad peace of the old me little by little. I show my gratitude, apologize and say goodbye to the things that used to hurt me most, yet I couldn't let go. Now I know that it is unfair to hold on to the things that aren't mine for real. It belonged to that time and it has to stay there... It's not that simple as I can talk about, but the feeling is uplifting, yet greatly painful. So at the moment I'm just healing my own thoughts and my memories, so I won't meat them again.

I dance to the Stars and the Earth beneath me and try to feel what it is like to be them. I have no troubles and nobody is really hurting me. To be human is just a plain luck and we don't appreciate it enough. I think it is time to get to know the meaning of "being as one with everything..."

Paikea

"This speech is a token 

of my deep love and respect...

for Koro Apirana, my grandfather.

My name is Paikea Apirana

And I come from a long line of chiefs,

stretching all the way back to hawaiiki...

where our ancient ones are...

the ones that first heard

the land crying and sent a man.

His name was also Paikea...

And I am his most recent descendant.

But I was not the leader

my grandfather was expecting...

And by being born...

I broke the line back to the ancient ones.

It wasn't anybody's fault.

It just happened.

Who is to blame?

But we can learn.

And if the knowledge is given to everyone,

we can have lots of leaders. 

And soon, everyone will be strong...

Not just the ones that've been chosen.

Because sometimes,

even if you're the leader

and you need to be strong... 

you can get tired.

Like our ancestor, Paikea,

when he was lost at sea...

and he couldn't find the land,

and he probably wanted to die.

But he knew the ancient ones

were there for him...

so he called out to them

to lift him up and give him strength.

This is his chant.

I dedicate it to my grandfather. "

Yumeji's theme

The sound of cello painfully invades my brain making it remember things or create images of it's own. Right at the first note I tremble and take a deep breath. And it's almost like I want to stop breathing until the end. 

This dreary waltz with your own heart... who could've thought. A few simple notes, the dim light in the alley, the poetry in everyday robe and I'm there forever. 

The way she gracefully hides her pain in dresses, the way he dives into the haze of his own thoughts, the way they find comfort in passing by each other... and suddenly it all has meaning.

Let the phone ring three times. 

I still question everything I've seen, even after so many times... maybe this is why it's so great. Always the same thought- what would be my choice? At which point I would stop dancing with my own heart and started with someone else's. If... 

The courage to start asking questions. 

What if only things that are distant can become poetry...? 

What would I leave in a heart of someone...?

Steps on the street, fear of coming home, still waltz with my own heart... cries about things that could've happened, uncomfortable feeling of being in someone else's skin and realising that at some point- it's your own.

Will there be secrets for me to whisper...? 

Is there something within me strong enough and yet fragile, I could be faithful to? 

It's amazing how one moment you're filled with sadness and brutality of the world and the other- so... in the mood for love.