after a second of silence

It's weird..., no matter how many words you say, you are left untold... 

and that just keeps happening.

A slice of a lemon into the cup, some tea spilled out on the table and I realise that I haven't really made not even a step forward. Maybe a few stairsteps within, but no more... up and down, in and out of thoughts and dreams. Maybe those dreams keep coming back for a reason, or maybe not and it's always in your head. Where do I live? What do I give and where I should be? "Here and now" is always a comforting answer..., but I remember the days, when my place was in the stars and... it would be wonderful to be surprised every single time when I raise my eyes into the sky, like I used to be. 

... sigh, it's simple to dream, when those dreams are so distant to come true. When you know, that you can do something and yet you don't, they can be frightening and obligating... 

.. and yet we all keep dreaming. That is also a comfort. Only these days I don't do "my dream lists" anymore... I'm making a "to do list" for a change. 

Will let you know how this goes. 

Number one in my list is:

learn how to dream again!

just a brief moment...

home

ok, I admit it. Selling a home is hard. Not only You have to deal with all the packing, throwing and giving stuff away, but saying your goodbyes to the light through the windows and the rain on the floor... 

Here I've learned how to talk, read and write, didn't learn how not to trip over things and words though... I've seen birds flying in through the windows and people going out through the doors. I've heard many dreams, breathed in so many books..., cryed over so many fortresses crashing down, waited for so many friends.

 Now I' really glad I made this shot of a summer evening through my window a few years ago... ^_^

So..., today I was packing my books into boxes, they were whispering so many things to me, that I almost forgot how many years have passed since I read them... 

Brothers Lionheart....can you keep a promise you've made?

 

...what do you know about the world behind these walls?

 ...what would you do to save someone?

mom can take care of everything...: )

: ) there's always a reason for notes: "eat me" and "drink me" to be where they are. 

you can be who you want to be. 

and you can never know what is real. 

Peter Pan... sigh... please, be a child, as long as you like. 

I can't even imagine right now how many times I will reread these books again and again in my life, but I definately will. 

It's really difficult to share memories the way they really are. Human mind tends to interpretate everyting it's own way. So, it's practically impossible to describe the images I have in my head right now...

Sigh.

Anyway, I can honestly say, that home is not within the walls, but walls really do give comfort.

So, I'm saying my goodbyes and taking home away with me.

unicorns and heroes

...when I was little, I had this belief that you CAN actually be a hero if you want, if you chose, or if some higher power choses it for you. I acted according to that. Now the definition of the word "hero" has changed for me a little though...

Sometimes being a hero to your self is way more important than anything else. Fighting your own demons is way more harder than anything else. Making a decision can be fatal. Letting someone know what you think or how you feel- well..., I don't have the right word for that one, but I guess You know what I mean. Helping someone can be dangerously addictive and what's more frightening- emotionally moving.  

So to help me cope with all that- I still believe that there is something magical in this world that can make all the good happen without me interfering... 

I believe in unicorns. 

Don't laugh! I know it sounds childish and all that, but it's better this way, than "to argue who's imaginary friend is more real" and even kill for that. THAT's childish. 

Unicorns, dragons, wizards, witches, magical stones, healing drinks, powerful swords- those are the things that help me arrange thoughts and actions in my head the way I feel is reasonable. Those fairy tales have all the answers on how to treat people, how to live your life, state goals, how to be a simple earth creature. And within that creature- find a purpose. 

So today, I'm going to write about my whole life's favorite and still making me cry story 

"The Last Unicorn" 

(novel published in1968, film made in 1982). 

Behind this name is a very well written novel by Peter S. Beagle,

which was later made into an animated film, directed by 

Jules Bass and Arthur Rankin Jr. 

The story is of a unicorn, who finds out that she's the last of her kind and that all the others were captured. She has to face not only the dangers in her path, but also the feelings she never felt, the appearance she never even imagined she could have and the terror of forgetting who you are and what is your purpose.

Music for the film was written by Jimmy Webb and performed by "America". 

There are only a couple of songs that weren't so smooth with the film's atmosphere, but all in all the main theme and the song "walking man's road" is what makes this movie really capturing and remembered by. 

I only need the first notes of the main theme and I start crying. ^_^ But that's me. 

Both, the film and the book is really highly recommended for a family weekend or the moment when you're searching for that hiding child within you. 

finally...

..so here it goes. I've created a blog and had no clue what to do with it. I still don't, but anyway... I will probably write a lot of boring personal stuff here, recommend movies and post pictures, so my friends could read and see all that, also... maybe try and do something more out of it as well... we'll see. 

So, here it is- an introduction to my life. ^_^

This is me. 

The way my friend Indre pictured me ^_^... I love to eat... and I love Japan. Also, I love movies, animation, handmade stuff and unicorns. Most likely I will write about all these things most of all... O_o

Today I will introduce to You the year I was born. 

1985.

In 1985 my favorite childhood's movie was made- "The Legend" 

I watched this movie a week ago, and... to my surprise, only the warmest feelings and no doubt that I still love it appeared from the first minutes of the movie. Honestly, if You love fantasy genre- this is a must see. 

In 1985 a movie "Chorus Line" was made.

You have to blame this one for my wish to start dancing... and a bad attempt to sing. 

In 1985 the movie "Back to the Future" was made

This was something, that got our whole family of five together in front of TV.  We never argued about this one... ^_^

JVC

oh... yes, I had something very similar.

 Finally- "Thundercats".

TV series like this followed me the whole life... and that childish wish- to be a hero. Funny though, I think that I still want that.